Lost In Beauty-

Saturday, July 03, 2004

I am stitting at the computer, stoning and stoning...haha lol. I just given up on my A maths turtorial workshhet and I am going to HeCk the rest FOR NOW! School is fun and exciting...my friends are great. Love them and we have been hanging out all week at foodcourts, sturdy areas and the library...we get to know each other better, a lot better! hee..:P But things are getting heavy going! I have to catch up on my A maths and the homework is piling up slowly! What the seniors say about year one being slack is so unture! But I am sure I can handle it!...Yah man...jUsT Do IT! :D

I am getting really irritated with Mum. At first she say I am not allowed to join a cca. After begging her she said okay. Now it seems like I can forget about even joining! Aaargh!!! She scolded me again when I told her then Tp's Dance was only once a week on thur for about 2 hours...and she refused to let me join! Looks like I can forget about learning Modern and Hip Hop..Sian...Only once a week and she won't even let me join!
:(...all my other friends have ccas except me...sad case cia

I started to miss Simon a lot recently...really mISS him...will it is the fact that I have not since him in the last year. He only started attending church only two weeks ago with his parents. I was hoping that he would not come last week so that my feelings for him will disappear sooner...and the wound will HEal...But he showed up in this dark blue pullover and blue jeans...and I could feel my heart thumping in my chest and my throat getting dry. The feeling had not disappear, it was still there...I had not face reality only...I still longed for him in my dreams...:) I still what him to know...but I wonder if I should just let go...:) what should I do?... I have no clue. When he turned his head fully to look at me, I found myself turning back to look at him...He was still as cute and gorgeous as before...only taller and muscular than ever...:) I wonder if he knows...I wonder that when he look at my eyes and tell of my feelings for him...I wonder if he ever felt the same...I wonder if he knew that I wanted to treat him more than a friend...I miss him, really miss him...and liked him like never before...Talia is right, I have not gotten over him and it has been a year and a half and I still do not have the guts. After learning that Melody and Joshua were a couple...I reaLLy wonder if IT ws possible between us...they were in our cell group. Mel has just return from Australia for holiday but even still Joshua's mom does not approve of their relationship...and the long distane that seperated them...how they will miss one another...It was such a swEEt relationship which I really hope and pray will work out for them.

Should I tell him or should I let him go...should I be daring or should I fake courage...Should I still dream about him or should I kiss him goodbye...Should I still wait around for him until he knows or should I just pretend that he never knows even if he found out...Should I give him the truth ot should I pretend that all this was a lie...Should I...or should I...I really don't know...^....^....^#~!~#

the beauty exposed ;